Strict Standards: Non-static method clw_widget::getInstance() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/w008b995/flame-guards/vwoer/plugins/cl_widgets/e_meta.php on line 6
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file /www/htdocs/w008b995/flame-guards/vwoer/handlers/shortcode_handler.php on line 23: Creating default object from empty value
Welcome
Username:
Password:

Remember me
[ ]
[ ]
[ ]
Online
46 guests, 0 members

Online record on 22 Sep - 02:00
    2 members,
    226 guests,
    228 total

Members: 6633
Newest member: thomasisma
TeamSpeak 3

ERROR 0xd01: connection failed, you are banned (you may retry in 566 seconds)

Chatbox
You must be logged in to post comments on this site - please either log in or if you are not registered click here to signup


DarkestSoul on 21 Nov - 20:49
Initiative Q is an attempt by ex-PayPal guys to create a new payment system instead of credit cards that were designed in the 1950s. The system uses its own currency, the Q, and to get people to start using the system once it's ready they are allocating Qs for free to people that sign up now (the amount drops as more people join - so better to join early). Signing up is free and they only ask for your name and an email address. There's nothing to lose but if this payment system becomes a world leading payment method your Qs can be worth a lot. If you missed getting bitcoin seven years ago, you wouldn't want to miss this.

Here is my invite link: https://initiativeq.com/invite/SHAR4NQA7

This link will stop working once I’m out of invites. Let me know after you registered, because I need to verify you on my end.
payalsharma on 9 Sep - 07:39
Packers and Movers Pune Provide High Quality ***Household Shifting, Home/Office Relocation, Insurance, Packing, Locading, ###Car Transportation Service Pune .@ https://packersmoverspune.org/
ahmedabad12 on 31 Aug - 08:15
Packers and Movers Ahmedabad - We Provide ***Best Service Providers @ https://packersmoversahmedabad.co.in/

Alvin on 13 Jun - 11:56
I am looking for such post. Happy to find yours. Virus & Spyware removal service offered by team of Mcafee technical support .
jacobethan58 on 16 May - 11:59
We are available every time to help our customers; support team is very friendly with the customer and tries to fix your issue in minimum span of time. Our Kaspersky Toll-Free Number is +1-855-676-2448
Raginibhatt003 on 18 Apr - 10:58
Shweta escort agency will help you find hot call girls in bangalore. No.1 bangalore escort
service provided by shweta. If you are seeking high profile bangalore call girls sure we will deliver at home & hotel service.
http://www.independentescorts.net.in/bangalore escorts
<a href="http://www.independentescorts.net.in/">bangalore escorts</a>
Lubie_Dzem on 7 Apr - 22:26
WHAAAZZZZAAAAAAA!!!!Kaka https://discord.gg/zMgCK5 !
Kakashi on 2 Apr - 21:30
WHAAAZZZAAAAAAAAA!!
kallukarma on 24 Feb - 10:23
https://mtkdroidtool.com/mtk-droid-tool-download-root/
Lubie_Dzem on 15 Feb - 21:13
AcK heyo! Say Hi to more FG guys here https://discord.gg/xwN5gV See you there :)

Advertisement
{e_BASE}forum/index.php
Forum

Post your Joke

Did you see a hilarious youtube clip lately? Post it here and share your opinion.

Post your Joke

Postby Fragger » Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:01 pm

A man and his wife have sexual problems. The woman is having trouble having a orgasm. So the seek advise.

Doctor: Well, i've seen this before and i think i got a solution for you two.

Go find a muscular young stud and have him standing butt naked next to you when you are having sex, waving a towel to cool you down. This is a garanteed success so try it out.

So the man and his wife go out looking for this stud and they find. So the next time they have sex. They tell the young stud to stand next to the bed waving the towel to cool them down. But that still doesnt give the wanted orgasm that the wife wants. So again they visit the doctor.

Doctor: ok, this solution cant fail. You turn the roles of the young stud and the man around. So let the young stud make love to your wife and you stand next to them completly naked waving a towel @ them for some cooling.

That night the woman screamed her lungs out and she said that was the best orgasm she ever had.

On wich the man turns to the young stud and say's:


See, now that's the way to wave a towel. :)
Image
User avatar
Fragger
Founder
Founder
 
Posts: 784
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:02 am

Re: Post your Joke

Postby GhostRider » Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:17 pm

im pregnant
Fragger wrote:
GhostRider wrote:im youngest in my family :roll:

explains a lot.

someday i will come up with a suitable psycho analysis of you :)
User avatar
GhostRider
Member
Member
 
Posts: 967
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:01 am

Re: Post your Joke

Postby Confector » Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:34 am

Boss said to secretary: "Let me sleep with you. Just once. I'll be quick. I'll pay you $1,000. I'll throw the money on the floor & before you bend down & pick it, I'll be done!" She calls & tells her boyfriend. "Its ok but ask for $2000 & be very quick to pick the money". After 4 hrs boyfriend calls his girlfriend "What happened"? "The bastard used coins; I'm still pickin' & he's still fuckin'"!
Member since 13.06.2011

Image Best FG Member
Image The Best Avatar
Image Funniest Person
User avatar
Confector
Member
Member
 
Posts: 571
Joined: Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:28 am
Location: Estonia
Xfire: Garanthil

Re: Post your Joke

Postby AlMoNd » Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:40 am

a guy meets a black man with a parrot on his shoulder and is asking :
-Does it talk
Parrot says:
-dunno i just bought one

:eek:
AlMoNd
Head Admin
Head Admin
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 4:10 pm

Re: Post your Joke

Postby GhostRider » Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:08 pm

Since almond started with racist jokes so do i 8O
guy walked out of house and slipped on ice, his wallet was gone.
I twas black ice
Fragger wrote:
GhostRider wrote:im youngest in my family :roll:

explains a lot.

someday i will come up with a suitable psycho analysis of you :)
User avatar
GhostRider
Member
Member
 
Posts: 967
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:01 am

Re: Post your Joke

Postby Pepz » Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:19 pm

What's white and cant climb a tree ?
A fridge

:roll:
-|FG|-Pepz.xP
FG member since 13.1.2011

Image I'm Too Lucky
Image Best FG Member
Image Funniest Person
Image Way Too Horny
Image Craptalker
Image
User avatar
Pepz
Member
Member
 
Posts: 728
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:44 pm
Location: Tychy, Poland.
Xfire: pepowiec

Re: Post your Joke

Postby GhostRider » Wed Aug 17, 2011 2:09 pm

Teacher: Students, if 1 man can do a work in 6 days, 6 men can do the same work in 1 day. Did you understand?
Student : Yes, if 1 boat crosses the ocean in six days, 6 boats cross the ocean in one day.
--------------
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
-------------
An Irishman walks out of a bar.... it COULD happen. :eek:
------------
A female police officer pulls over a drunk driver
Officer: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of law."
Driver: "Tits"
------------
You know why women cant drive?
Because there is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
------------
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
------------
Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.
------------
A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."
------------
3 guys walk into a bar
The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world"
The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world"
The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records
The first guy comes back and says "I really do have? the smallest? arm in the world"
The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER? 8O
------------
Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams.
Son: No father I'll score 100% marks.
Father: Why are you kidding?
Son: Who started?
------------
Teacher: Good morning class I have a couple of riddles to start off this morning. I have something here that's round red and good to eat? Sarah: an apple? Teacher: No it's a tomato but you're thinking.
Teacher: I have something here that's yellow and odd shaped and good to eat? Michael: A banana? Teacher: No it's a pear but you're thinking.
Little Johnny: Teacher, I have a riddle. Teacher: Okay Johnny tell us your riddle. Little Johnny: I have something in my pocket that's round, hard and has a head on it? Teacher: Johnny, you go see the principal right this instant. Little Johnny: It's a nail, but you're thinking.
------------
IF IT WALKS LIKE A DUCK, TALKS LIKE A DUCK, AND SMELLS LIKE A DUCK BUT CHUCK NORRIS SAYS ITS A GIRRAFE ITS A DAMN GIRRAFE!
------------
I ONCE READ THAT A WOMAN WAS IN A COLLISION WITH A TREE, WHATS A TREE DOING IN THE KITCHEN???
------------
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
------------
A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay."
I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure."
I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not."
I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
------------
Pepz wrote:What's white and cant climb a tree ?
yeti :)
Fragger wrote:
GhostRider wrote:im youngest in my family :roll:

explains a lot.

someday i will come up with a suitable psycho analysis of you :)
User avatar
GhostRider
Member
Member
 
Posts: 967
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:01 am

Re: Post your Joke

Postby Achilleus » Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:39 pm

Translated version:
Teacher brings 4 jars into the classroom: worm in sperm, worm in nicotine, worm in alcohol and a worm in tap water.
The next day they look at the speciments and see, that the worm in alcohol, nicotine and sperm are dead, only the worm in tap water survived. Teacher asks the class what have they learned from the experiment.
John answers: If you smoke, fuck and drink, you wont have worms. :roll:
Image
Image
Players who know me, MAY add me on xFire:)
User avatar
Achilleus
Major
Major
 
Posts: 125
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:11 am

Re: Post your Joke

Postby Hadmaster » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:17 am

Why there is no life in the moon? Cause Chuck Norris has been there! xD
Image
User avatar
Hadmaster
Member
Member
 
Posts: 294
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:55 am
Location: Gerstungen

Re: Post your Joke

Postby Yoshii » Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:54 pm

A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."

Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."

Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"

Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."

The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

Mom : "Now what do I do?"

Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream." :roll:
Image
User avatar
Yoshii
Lieutenant
Lieutenant
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:08 am

Re: Post your Joke

Postby AlMoNd » Sat Sep 03, 2011 11:59 am

Whats the difference between Black man and a tire?
When you will put a gold chain on a tire it doesnt rap ;)
AlMoNd
Head Admin
Head Admin
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 4:10 pm

Re: Post your Joke

Postby I-2-Stupid » Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:51 pm

Whats get an dutchie when he fails three times in the driving exam?

Easy! A yellow licence Plate!!!! xD


cheers
Image
User avatar
I-2-Stupid
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 1738
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:44 am
Location: Bremen/Castle Wolfenstein
Xfire: i2stupid

Re: Post your Joke

Postby Lubie_Dzem » Fri Sep 09, 2011 4:10 pm

Black man went to evening college and got a absence :D
Regards,
-|FG|-Lubie_Dzem

Image Best Regular

Image

Image
User avatar
Lubie_Dzem
Member
Member
 
Posts: 1042
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2010 6:10 pm
Location: Poland
Xfire: lubiedzem1

Re: Post your Joke

Postby RioAlex » Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:21 pm

a kid gets in the buss front seats and yells out loud

"if my mom was a female tiger and mo dad was male tiger i would be a little tiger,if my mom was a female elephant and my dad was a male elephant i would be a little elephant"

He said phew more animals and the bus driver was anoyed and mad so he gets to the kid and sais

"hey kid what would you be if your mom was a whore and your dad gay"

kid answered

"I would be a bus driver"

Hehe
Proud Member since

13.02.2012

Image

[align=center]Image[/align]

THANKS MACOM :D
User avatar
RioAlex
Member
Member
 
Posts: 1308
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:23 pm
Location: Serbia-Belgrade-Ritopek
Xfire: rioalex

Re: Post your Joke

Postby RioAlex » Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:41 pm

Guy comes to pharmacist and asks for condoms he says to take one then he thinks on loud "she has a good sister il take another one" he takes another condom and then he thinks again "mothers is nice aswell il take one more" when he bought condoms and got to his girlfriends house for dinner with her parents at the dinner he was praying non stop girlfriend asked him why do you pray so much i didnt know you are so religious he answerd
"im not i just didnt know your father was a pharmacist"

This one made me laugh really long
Proud Member since

13.02.2012

Image

[align=center]Image[/align]

THANKS MACOM :D
User avatar
RioAlex
Member
Member
 
Posts: 1308
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:23 pm
Location: Serbia-Belgrade-Ritopek
Xfire: rioalex

Next

Return to Fun

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests

cron

Google Ad

This site is powered by e107, which is released under the terms of the GNU GPL License.
Theme created by VWOer, based on Jayya by e107 and G-Recon by Theme Labs. © Flame Guards Community 2010